Ask The Answer Community Blog Spot: Transformation
Transformation means many things t...: Transformation Transformation means many things to me and I am sure it will have its own meaning to you. Ever experienced the internal b...
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Thursday 28 May 2015
Transformation
Transformation means many things to me and I am sure it will have its own meaning to you.
Ever experienced the internal battle, the to-ing and fro-ing between ideas, the stalling
in movement, the coming to a crossroad and not knowing which direction to take?
Well I feel during that internal chaos during the states of confusion and I am sure
after enduring a very draining time of indecisiveness a battle between head and heart, we reach our internal transformation, reaching that point of connecting with ourselves again, to gain a sense of clarity and perspective, where we can let go and release what is no longer working positively for us and more importantly, to trust the letting go to
then make room for the new .
It is all part and parcel to our transformation, but I also feel and relate to many transformations in my life not just the one. Any ending of a situation, whether this relates to a relationship ending or a job change still brings an ending to that experience moving from the old into the new still brings about a huge change but allowing closure and acceptance to what ever your situation is allows a healing to take place as well, what ever the situation, in the areas of home,family,partners,work we are faced with various different challenges which help us along our learning journey. During such times of change can naturally seem to allow ourselves to retract, to regather, to restore.But so much happens in that inward quietness time you give yourself .
We often don't think when we are stuck in a rut or stuck with no movement in a situation or issue, it can feel nothing is happening but it is spirit's way of taking us out of our own way!
To then bring after a time of stepping back and retracting a solution. I also feel it is important to celebrate these times of changes as it is a huge growth and life enhancing experiences not all transformations and rites of passage are linked with negative reasons but joyous ones as well to acknowledge how far you have come, and to recognise what you have achieved to embrace your choices and decisions
Transformation means many things to me and I am sure it will have its own meaning to you.
Ever experienced the internal battle, the to-ing and fro-ing between ideas, the stalling
in movement, the coming to a crossroad and not knowing which direction to take?
Well I feel during that internal chaos during the states of confusion and I am sure
after enduring a very draining time of indecisiveness a battle between head and heart, we reach our internal transformation, reaching that point of connecting with ourselves again, to gain a sense of clarity and perspective, where we can let go and release what is no longer working positively for us and more importantly, to trust the letting go to
then make room for the new .
It is all part and parcel to our transformation, but I also feel and relate to many transformations in my life not just the one. Any ending of a situation, whether this relates to a relationship ending or a job change still brings an ending to that experience moving from the old into the new still brings about a huge change but allowing closure and acceptance to what ever your situation is allows a healing to take place as well, what ever the situation, in the areas of home,family,partners,work we are faced with various different challenges which help us along our learning journey. During such times of change can naturally seem to allow ourselves to retract, to regather, to restore.But so much happens in that inward quietness time you give yourself .
We often don't think when we are stuck in a rut or stuck with no movement in a situation or issue, it can feel nothing is happening but it is spirit's way of taking us out of our own way!
To then bring after a time of stepping back and retracting a solution. I also feel it is important to celebrate these times of changes as it is a huge growth and life enhancing experiences not all transformations and rites of passage are linked with negative reasons but joyous ones as well to acknowledge how far you have come, and to recognise what you have achieved to embrace your choices and decisions
.
Transformation I feel is a life long experience, but to be kind and gentle with yourself while going through your different chapters of your life ending and beginning will usher peace and to give yourself permission to feel how you feel during these different events will all be embraced as you go through and experience your many personal and
individual transformation.
Transformation I feel is a life long experience, but to be kind and gentle with yourself while going through your different chapters of your life ending and beginning will usher peace and to give yourself permission to feel how you feel during these different events will all be embraced as you go through and experience your many personal and
individual transformation.
Relationship cards on the table
WHERE IS IT HEADED?
Do we have the right to ask this question in a relationship and will it put him/her off?
My answer to this question is that if someone has a big problem with the answer then I would imagine that they don't know. In general if people want a loving committed relationship which is about give and take, then why would this be a problem? It could be that they need a little longer but how long we wait for answers is very individual and if you need to know now, then nothing is going to take that feeling away, short of asking.
I often say that you have to be honest with yourself. Do you want a relationship with someone and does he/she really want a relationship? How do we know this? I know this seems rather obvious but we have to ask? Perhaps they just want a bit of fun and don't do serious!!
Why do we have a problem with asking?
I myself have had huge problems with asking the relevant questions in the past but I now know that this came from a place of fear. Fear that the relationship may not actually be a relationship! Fear that it may fall below my expectations, being scared to admit that it may be less than I really want. Fear that by asking these questions, I may have ruined it. All of this is about fear, fear, fear but I would blame myself for the things I was quite justified in asking, yet another fear!
So what is the matter with being honest and up front? If you went for a certain type of job, you wouldn't just be crossing your fingers and hoping that it would be the job description you applied for would you? You would be a little annoyed if it did not live up to your expectations and your experience was entirely different. If after three months or so of doing the job, you were extremely unhappy you might say well, I sort of thought this and that and you would maybe go and have a chat with someone about it?
To ask where a relationship where it is headed, to me, shows that you don't want to waste your time in something that may not be right for you. Of course it is not the other person's sole responsibility to take the relationship where it is headed it is also up to you. I do however think that people have to be singing from the same hymn sheet. How do we know that? We have to ask. Is their map or view of what a relationship is about, the same as yours?
A friend of mine who is a life coach says that people build a candy floss tree. This basically means that they believe the relationship is getting sweeter and sweeter but they may never reap the rewards, if they only had thought to ask. If your fear asking where is it headed but you know in your heart that is what you really want to do but the only thing that is stopping you is worry of his or her insecurity, then part of you already knows where it is headed. You fear the truth. This is what I call moving out of illusion or not allowing the candy floss tree to develop. If relationships are going to work it is about taking responsibility for you. You cannot take responsibility for the other person that is their job, they are not a child which has to be watched out in case they fall and bruise. What about their responsibility for their own actions? They need to take that also.
Without boundaries and a sense of equality, it is unlikely that a relationship will ultimately work out. Work out to me means getting it "off the ground" into a love and respectful situation. We can only bring about love and respect through honesty and integrity rather than guess work and assumptions.
If you have said something that you don't like in a relationship but you were just being you, try not to beat yourself up over it. If you are you, then the other person gets a chance to love and respect the person you really are, instead of the illusion of you. I cannot tell you the times when personally people have said "I love you" and then later they found out they didn't love me when they saw the real me! If you would like your partner to see the real you, and love you for who you are then it has to be out of illusion and questions have to be asked. I do not suggest that you ask questions every time you meet because a person has to "be emotionally ready for a serious relationship". It is more about being honest with you.
Being honest with you is looking at what you want, what your expectations are and your own values. You cannot change someone when half way in they are not measuring up, you can however be you. You have the chance to say how you feel and walk away if necessary. Hopefully then the other person will also wake up and take responsibility and it moves into a relationship with both eyes open.
If however you are not looking for full on love and it is your intention to just have a bit of company, then say it! That way it doesn't lead people up the garden path or let them project their expectations on to you. It could just be that their reply is "I don't really know yet, but I do really like you and I would like to get to know you a little more." If someone says this to you, it is reassuring that they still want to know you but it also tells you that at the moment they have no long term vision. However the fact that they are listening and acknowledging your need for this confirmation, might well be enough for you to give it a bit longer.
Love, luck and happiness
Jennifer xxx
Do we have the right to ask this question in a relationship and will it put him/her off?
My answer to this question is that if someone has a big problem with the answer then I would imagine that they don't know. In general if people want a loving committed relationship which is about give and take, then why would this be a problem? It could be that they need a little longer but how long we wait for answers is very individual and if you need to know now, then nothing is going to take that feeling away, short of asking.
I often say that you have to be honest with yourself. Do you want a relationship with someone and does he/she really want a relationship? How do we know this? I know this seems rather obvious but we have to ask? Perhaps they just want a bit of fun and don't do serious!!
Why do we have a problem with asking?
I myself have had huge problems with asking the relevant questions in the past but I now know that this came from a place of fear. Fear that the relationship may not actually be a relationship! Fear that it may fall below my expectations, being scared to admit that it may be less than I really want. Fear that by asking these questions, I may have ruined it. All of this is about fear, fear, fear but I would blame myself for the things I was quite justified in asking, yet another fear!
So what is the matter with being honest and up front? If you went for a certain type of job, you wouldn't just be crossing your fingers and hoping that it would be the job description you applied for would you? You would be a little annoyed if it did not live up to your expectations and your experience was entirely different. If after three months or so of doing the job, you were extremely unhappy you might say well, I sort of thought this and that and you would maybe go and have a chat with someone about it?
To ask where a relationship where it is headed, to me, shows that you don't want to waste your time in something that may not be right for you. Of course it is not the other person's sole responsibility to take the relationship where it is headed it is also up to you. I do however think that people have to be singing from the same hymn sheet. How do we know that? We have to ask. Is their map or view of what a relationship is about, the same as yours?
A friend of mine who is a life coach says that people build a candy floss tree. This basically means that they believe the relationship is getting sweeter and sweeter but they may never reap the rewards, if they only had thought to ask. If your fear asking where is it headed but you know in your heart that is what you really want to do but the only thing that is stopping you is worry of his or her insecurity, then part of you already knows where it is headed. You fear the truth. This is what I call moving out of illusion or not allowing the candy floss tree to develop. If relationships are going to work it is about taking responsibility for you. You cannot take responsibility for the other person that is their job, they are not a child which has to be watched out in case they fall and bruise. What about their responsibility for their own actions? They need to take that also.
Without boundaries and a sense of equality, it is unlikely that a relationship will ultimately work out. Work out to me means getting it "off the ground" into a love and respectful situation. We can only bring about love and respect through honesty and integrity rather than guess work and assumptions.
If you have said something that you don't like in a relationship but you were just being you, try not to beat yourself up over it. If you are you, then the other person gets a chance to love and respect the person you really are, instead of the illusion of you. I cannot tell you the times when personally people have said "I love you" and then later they found out they didn't love me when they saw the real me! If you would like your partner to see the real you, and love you for who you are then it has to be out of illusion and questions have to be asked. I do not suggest that you ask questions every time you meet because a person has to "be emotionally ready for a serious relationship". It is more about being honest with you.
Being honest with you is looking at what you want, what your expectations are and your own values. You cannot change someone when half way in they are not measuring up, you can however be you. You have the chance to say how you feel and walk away if necessary. Hopefully then the other person will also wake up and take responsibility and it moves into a relationship with both eyes open.
If however you are not looking for full on love and it is your intention to just have a bit of company, then say it! That way it doesn't lead people up the garden path or let them project their expectations on to you. It could just be that their reply is "I don't really know yet, but I do really like you and I would like to get to know you a little more." If someone says this to you, it is reassuring that they still want to know you but it also tells you that at the moment they have no long term vision. However the fact that they are listening and acknowledging your need for this confirmation, might well be enough for you to give it a bit longer.
Love, luck and happiness
Jennifer xxx
Wednesday 27 May 2015
Ask The Answer Community Blog Spot: 18 Steps To Happiness
Ask The Answer Community Blog Spot: 18 Steps To Happiness: HOW TO BE HAPPY Of course most of us believe that happiness comes in the form of a loving, romantic relationship, but for some of us, we a...
18 Steps To Happiness
HOW TO BE HAPPY
Of course most of us believe that happiness comes in the form of a loving, romantic relationship, but for some of us, we are either just coming out of a relationship, in-between relationship, just even waiting for our romantic life to start. So in the meantime, how do you find some happiness in life. List below are some ideas to start you on the Journey to Your Own Happiness.
1) Forgiving others will empower you. That does not mean you condone the act that needs to be forgiven. It just means that from now on you refuse to be storage for all your anger as it only eats you up from inside. Always try to minimize your anger.
2) Refuse to judge others and you can learn to love yourself just as you are today.
3) Surround yourself with winners in life as they will show you ways to win in your own life. Losers can drain you of either energy or even your money.
4) Surround yourself with people who make you laugh. Laughter really is the best medicine.
5) Spend as much time as possible doing the things you like doing such as either a sport, hobby or additional study. If you hate your job, look around for another one whilst you are still employed. Going to a job that you hate is a waste of your life and precious energy.
6) Give time to positive people, and remember to be positive yourself. The Law of Attraction will start to bring only positive situations and people into your life.
7) Go with your gut instinct – it's an in-built homing device. NEVER IGNORE YOUR INNER ALARM OR RADAR FOR LIERS OR DANGER AHEAD. Time and time again, these three will either save your life, heart or wallet.
8) Take short breaks away from home to restore your energy. This can be something as simple as an half an hour in your local park or perhaps a new trip to a different shopping centre.
9) Know yourself and understand your shortcomings, facing up to not-so-scary demons.
10) Don’t be obsessed about where you are going in life but remember to enjoy the journey.
11) Help others and consider offering your services to a charity, time permitting.
12) Hum your favourite tune when you are walking along the street.
13) Take control of your finances.
14) Seek knowledge. Consider taking a course in something that interests you.
15) Be the master of your own time.
16) Write down all the positive things in your life and build on them.
17) Respect your world and everything in it and most of all YOURSELF. If you do not show yourself self-respect, how could you expect anyone else to respect you?
18) RELAX!! Read a book, watch television or go for a walk – anything that gives you pleasure without hurting anyone else.
Of course most of us believe that happiness comes in the form of a loving, romantic relationship, but for some of us, we are either just coming out of a relationship, in-between relationship, just even waiting for our romantic life to start. So in the meantime, how do you find some happiness in life. List below are some ideas to start you on the Journey to Your Own Happiness.
1) Forgiving others will empower you. That does not mean you condone the act that needs to be forgiven. It just means that from now on you refuse to be storage for all your anger as it only eats you up from inside. Always try to minimize your anger.
2) Refuse to judge others and you can learn to love yourself just as you are today.
3) Surround yourself with winners in life as they will show you ways to win in your own life. Losers can drain you of either energy or even your money.
4) Surround yourself with people who make you laugh. Laughter really is the best medicine.
5) Spend as much time as possible doing the things you like doing such as either a sport, hobby or additional study. If you hate your job, look around for another one whilst you are still employed. Going to a job that you hate is a waste of your life and precious energy.
6) Give time to positive people, and remember to be positive yourself. The Law of Attraction will start to bring only positive situations and people into your life.
7) Go with your gut instinct – it's an in-built homing device. NEVER IGNORE YOUR INNER ALARM OR RADAR FOR LIERS OR DANGER AHEAD. Time and time again, these three will either save your life, heart or wallet.
8) Take short breaks away from home to restore your energy. This can be something as simple as an half an hour in your local park or perhaps a new trip to a different shopping centre.
9) Know yourself and understand your shortcomings, facing up to not-so-scary demons.
10) Don’t be obsessed about where you are going in life but remember to enjoy the journey.
11) Help others and consider offering your services to a charity, time permitting.
12) Hum your favourite tune when you are walking along the street.
13) Take control of your finances.
14) Seek knowledge. Consider taking a course in something that interests you.
15) Be the master of your own time.
16) Write down all the positive things in your life and build on them.
17) Respect your world and everything in it and most of all YOURSELF. If you do not show yourself self-respect, how could you expect anyone else to respect you?
18) RELAX!! Read a book, watch television or go for a walk – anything that gives you pleasure without hurting anyone else.
Ask The Answer Community Blog Spot: Dating and maturity By the time a woman or man h...
Ask The Answer Community Blog Spot: Dating and maturity
By the time a woman or man h...: Dating and maturity By the time a woman or man has reached thirty- five to forty, are they really looking for something different from th...
By the time a woman or man h...: Dating and maturity By the time a woman or man has reached thirty- five to forty, are they really looking for something different from th...
Dating and maturity
By the time a woman or man has reached thirty- five to forty, are they really looking for something different from the dating scene? The age of forty is considered now still be quite young with people living for so much younger, not even middle aged! When I was a child I held an image of people in their forties being old and frumpy and ready for knitting for expectant grandchildren. Nowadays, as people tend to have families later than a decade ago thirty or even forty can still be an age for going out and having fun. Certainly there are all modes of entertainment for that age group, from Bands, Theatres, Restaurants, Cinemas and numerous dance classes, it is all out there if you want to find it.
In my experience, by the time a woman has entered into this age group, they are often a lot more sure of what they are looking for in life. Men however seem to be much more casual in relationships seeming unsure of what they want. It could be that women recover from knock backs in romance in the way of divorce separations more easily than men. To a certain extent, without seeming to be prejudice against men, women have just had to get on with it. Although a man has traditionally been the breadwinner and certainly has to carry on in that role, a woman has had to hold the family together and put the needs of the children before her. She has learnt to share, to be second or even third place in the family and when push comes to shove in a lot of ways she is much more adaptable.
When someone has gone through a messy relationship breakup, there may well be baggage. From a man’s point of view “baggage” can particularly relate to children and ex- partners but from a woman’s point of view men can also have baggage in the way of unexpressed emotions. Men are more inclined to hold on to anger because they are unable to communicate in the same way women do. Women love to talk about and share their problems with other women but who do men talk to and even if they do talk are they able to express their feelings in the same way, being wired differently! The term “baggage” however, can feel very unpleasant and seems to stick to women like glue as it is often banded about in the dating scene. It creates feelings of inadequacy and negativity as well as a feeling of “how dare he talk about my children like that!”
However it is certainly true to say that emotional issues tend to come to the fore and the same old situations keep resurfacing again and again as people tend to go from one relationship to another without really thinking of what they want from relationships.
There are terms such as “a casual relationship” often mentioned on dating sites, or “see how it goes” or even serious which tend to leave you in a complete state of confusion with “I hadn’t really thought about it before and why would you, when it may be the first time you have been on the dating scene for many years. One of the problems is with women in particular, is that they often do want “a serious relationship” but they are scared of saying what they want for fear of frightening someone off or not feeling worthy. If a woman feels unworthy because of feelings of low self esteem due to a past relationship then she may actually fear having another decent relationship with a man because of worrying she could never make the grade and so she may opt for something she really doesn’t want. She will often sell herself short and settle for a casual or see how it goes affair which doesn’t bring her happiness and just keeps her in a cycle of self-destruction.
This is definitely where the Law of Attraction can be very helpful along with good old fashioned sense!
Think about the type of person that you are looking for in your life.
Believe that he/she is out there and he/she is also looking for you with positive expectancy
Write a list of qualities that you would like your partner to have and keep them positive!
Avoid saying the words no, or not or this and that, just stick to what you do want
i.e. He is really kind or he is good with money (or both of these!)
Stating an age range is also a good idea and also that you would like him to be completely available to spend time with you. That way you won’t attract anyone married or still attached in some way.
Be realistic but at the same time kind to yourself.
If you would like an attractive man or woman, then give a physical description of what she looks like. What is attractive to you may not be attractive to someone else and so the words “I find attractive” may be useful.
Do not feel guilty about putting your requests out into the ethers. It is the same process for anything you want to achieve in your life whether it is getting a book published, passing your driving test or getting that important job. Know it and you have won.
“Or k(now) it and you’ve won!” – try and bring your thoughts into the now moment, to the point where you can feel the success rising in you, this will help your attract the relationship you want through the Law of Attraction.
The most important thing of all when we make our request is that we ask with a centred heart and that we allow good things into our life, “The Law of Allowing” Esther and Jerry Hicks. Sometimes we need to ask, surrender and trust.
There are so many ways that people look for what traditionally was called Mr. Right but now tends to be “my soul mate or my twin soul.” As I say in my books I definitely believe that we have more than one soul mate as many large soul groups evolve and work together, so it could be that the feeling of recognition that you have with someone is just another person from your soul group.
Timing is ultimately the most important thing, as there may be many good reasons why you meet certain people in your life at times and sometimes it is about just carrying you forward to the next stage of your journey. Relationships can often be very short, or they can go happily on for many years.
The traditional pattern of meeting someone when you are young and carrying that relationship on through to old age is not as common now as it use to be with the divorce rate rising. There are often more issues to do with trust as so many people are running like scared rabbits but they are no longer sure what they are running to or from it is just like a crazy scene from Watership Down!
Feel rest assured that although there are many nearly identical slippers for you to try, there is only one slipper that really fits you. It is normally the one which is the most comfortable and doesn’t nip, rub or hurt!
By the time a woman or man has reached thirty- five to forty, are they really looking for something different from the dating scene? The age of forty is considered now still be quite young with people living for so much younger, not even middle aged! When I was a child I held an image of people in their forties being old and frumpy and ready for knitting for expectant grandchildren. Nowadays, as people tend to have families later than a decade ago thirty or even forty can still be an age for going out and having fun. Certainly there are all modes of entertainment for that age group, from Bands, Theatres, Restaurants, Cinemas and numerous dance classes, it is all out there if you want to find it.
In my experience, by the time a woman has entered into this age group, they are often a lot more sure of what they are looking for in life. Men however seem to be much more casual in relationships seeming unsure of what they want. It could be that women recover from knock backs in romance in the way of divorce separations more easily than men. To a certain extent, without seeming to be prejudice against men, women have just had to get on with it. Although a man has traditionally been the breadwinner and certainly has to carry on in that role, a woman has had to hold the family together and put the needs of the children before her. She has learnt to share, to be second or even third place in the family and when push comes to shove in a lot of ways she is much more adaptable.
When someone has gone through a messy relationship breakup, there may well be baggage. From a man’s point of view “baggage” can particularly relate to children and ex- partners but from a woman’s point of view men can also have baggage in the way of unexpressed emotions. Men are more inclined to hold on to anger because they are unable to communicate in the same way women do. Women love to talk about and share their problems with other women but who do men talk to and even if they do talk are they able to express their feelings in the same way, being wired differently! The term “baggage” however, can feel very unpleasant and seems to stick to women like glue as it is often banded about in the dating scene. It creates feelings of inadequacy and negativity as well as a feeling of “how dare he talk about my children like that!”
However it is certainly true to say that emotional issues tend to come to the fore and the same old situations keep resurfacing again and again as people tend to go from one relationship to another without really thinking of what they want from relationships.
There are terms such as “a casual relationship” often mentioned on dating sites, or “see how it goes” or even serious which tend to leave you in a complete state of confusion with “I hadn’t really thought about it before and why would you, when it may be the first time you have been on the dating scene for many years. One of the problems is with women in particular, is that they often do want “a serious relationship” but they are scared of saying what they want for fear of frightening someone off or not feeling worthy. If a woman feels unworthy because of feelings of low self esteem due to a past relationship then she may actually fear having another decent relationship with a man because of worrying she could never make the grade and so she may opt for something she really doesn’t want. She will often sell herself short and settle for a casual or see how it goes affair which doesn’t bring her happiness and just keeps her in a cycle of self-destruction.
This is definitely where the Law of Attraction can be very helpful along with good old fashioned sense!
Think about the type of person that you are looking for in your life.
Believe that he/she is out there and he/she is also looking for you with positive expectancy
Write a list of qualities that you would like your partner to have and keep them positive!
Avoid saying the words no, or not or this and that, just stick to what you do want
i.e. He is really kind or he is good with money (or both of these!)
Stating an age range is also a good idea and also that you would like him to be completely available to spend time with you. That way you won’t attract anyone married or still attached in some way.
Be realistic but at the same time kind to yourself.
If you would like an attractive man or woman, then give a physical description of what she looks like. What is attractive to you may not be attractive to someone else and so the words “I find attractive” may be useful.
Do not feel guilty about putting your requests out into the ethers. It is the same process for anything you want to achieve in your life whether it is getting a book published, passing your driving test or getting that important job. Know it and you have won.
“Or k(now) it and you’ve won!” – try and bring your thoughts into the now moment, to the point where you can feel the success rising in you, this will help your attract the relationship you want through the Law of Attraction.
The most important thing of all when we make our request is that we ask with a centred heart and that we allow good things into our life, “The Law of Allowing” Esther and Jerry Hicks. Sometimes we need to ask, surrender and trust.
There are so many ways that people look for what traditionally was called Mr. Right but now tends to be “my soul mate or my twin soul.” As I say in my books I definitely believe that we have more than one soul mate as many large soul groups evolve and work together, so it could be that the feeling of recognition that you have with someone is just another person from your soul group.
Timing is ultimately the most important thing, as there may be many good reasons why you meet certain people in your life at times and sometimes it is about just carrying you forward to the next stage of your journey. Relationships can often be very short, or they can go happily on for many years.
The traditional pattern of meeting someone when you are young and carrying that relationship on through to old age is not as common now as it use to be with the divorce rate rising. There are often more issues to do with trust as so many people are running like scared rabbits but they are no longer sure what they are running to or from it is just like a crazy scene from Watership Down!
Feel rest assured that although there are many nearly identical slippers for you to try, there is only one slipper that really fits you. It is normally the one which is the most comfortable and doesn’t nip, rub or hurt!
THE COURSE OF TRUE LOVE NEVER RUNS SMOOTH?
I have heard that statement all my life so I guess it was very easy for me to integrate this into my belief system.
This is a line from Mid Summers Nights Dream which I discovered when I went to see a fantastic modern version of it in a local theatre last week. My son said "did you spot the famous line Mum?" of course, I did!
If we choose to believe this, then, it is what we get, obstacle after obstacle standing in the way of our happiness. Seldom do we hear "the course of true love just falls into place". Why do we feel like we have to compromise us, make supreme sacrifices, have endless patience and understanding and feel that love must be a challenge Constantly beating who we are up because we do not feel good enough for the relationship.
I felt worn out just writing that last paragraph! Yet, when people are right for each other they both know it and it is easy. Trying to change someone in order to fit or expecting them to change for you is just going to lead to a "power struggle". It explains a lot about power struggles in the Celestine Prophecy but normally this starts to occur after you have known someone about 3- 4 months. Until then they can often be the projection of who you think they are. The perfect prince or princess projection and you see very little fault with them. Although I think it is completely true that you should be open and loving and accept people as they are, you still want to be going in the same direction in the way of goals, aspirations, respect and understanding. If you are hoping that eventually "they will get it" or wake up to some higher spiritual reality then think again. Do you really want a relationship that is a whole load of hard work?
Perhaps, what you do want is a relationship where you can be you and they can be them but making excuses for people when they don't like the real you is not really living in truth. We do however need to have learned to love who we are and be able to think, well actually I am ok exactly as I am. If we are not ready to look in the mirror and say this then it is likely we will attract another relationship which is just a lesson for us to evolve from. We have many soul mates who incarnate to teach us valuable lessons but it is possible to stand back take a long look and ask "have I done this before?". Am I actually going to benefit from this experience or am I just going to play the counsellor, the healer and be trying to convert someone to my way of thinking. If the alarm bells are going off, surely it is better to stay on your own and work on building yourself up to be that strong, balanced, creative and loving person you know you are. By doing this, you are saving some love for you! Because if we constantly have to heal someone else, then often we take the focus off us and it is not long until our own energy starts to slip, slide away.
Think about you:-
Do you deserve someone whole perfect and complete?
If you believe you are whole perfect and complete, then, you will probably say, yes, of course I do, why do I need a whole load of grief!
If you do not believe in you, you may be into "fix it" situations ok, if that's what you want to make you happy. No-one is perfect but on the other hand, some people have worked on themselves and some have not. Some people are open and others can feel closed. Some people don't put up barriers, others do.
Do you deserve something good in your life?
Or do you deserve someone who is only prepared to give you 50% of them because the other 50% is taken up with their issues.
Love is unconditional but that doesn't mean we can mould others to suit our needs! You must remember that when Cinderella found her prince the shoe was a perfect fit. There is a perfect fit for everyone out there so you don't have to push your foot into ill fitting slipper!
I have heard that statement all my life so I guess it was very easy for me to integrate this into my belief system.
This is a line from Mid Summers Nights Dream which I discovered when I went to see a fantastic modern version of it in a local theatre last week. My son said "did you spot the famous line Mum?" of course, I did!
If we choose to believe this, then, it is what we get, obstacle after obstacle standing in the way of our happiness. Seldom do we hear "the course of true love just falls into place". Why do we feel like we have to compromise us, make supreme sacrifices, have endless patience and understanding and feel that love must be a challenge Constantly beating who we are up because we do not feel good enough for the relationship.
I felt worn out just writing that last paragraph! Yet, when people are right for each other they both know it and it is easy. Trying to change someone in order to fit or expecting them to change for you is just going to lead to a "power struggle". It explains a lot about power struggles in the Celestine Prophecy but normally this starts to occur after you have known someone about 3- 4 months. Until then they can often be the projection of who you think they are. The perfect prince or princess projection and you see very little fault with them. Although I think it is completely true that you should be open and loving and accept people as they are, you still want to be going in the same direction in the way of goals, aspirations, respect and understanding. If you are hoping that eventually "they will get it" or wake up to some higher spiritual reality then think again. Do you really want a relationship that is a whole load of hard work?
Perhaps, what you do want is a relationship where you can be you and they can be them but making excuses for people when they don't like the real you is not really living in truth. We do however need to have learned to love who we are and be able to think, well actually I am ok exactly as I am. If we are not ready to look in the mirror and say this then it is likely we will attract another relationship which is just a lesson for us to evolve from. We have many soul mates who incarnate to teach us valuable lessons but it is possible to stand back take a long look and ask "have I done this before?". Am I actually going to benefit from this experience or am I just going to play the counsellor, the healer and be trying to convert someone to my way of thinking. If the alarm bells are going off, surely it is better to stay on your own and work on building yourself up to be that strong, balanced, creative and loving person you know you are. By doing this, you are saving some love for you! Because if we constantly have to heal someone else, then often we take the focus off us and it is not long until our own energy starts to slip, slide away.
Think about you:-
Do you deserve someone whole perfect and complete?
If you believe you are whole perfect and complete, then, you will probably say, yes, of course I do, why do I need a whole load of grief!
If you do not believe in you, you may be into "fix it" situations ok, if that's what you want to make you happy. No-one is perfect but on the other hand, some people have worked on themselves and some have not. Some people are open and others can feel closed. Some people don't put up barriers, others do.
Do you deserve something good in your life?
Or do you deserve someone who is only prepared to give you 50% of them because the other 50% is taken up with their issues.
Love is unconditional but that doesn't mean we can mould others to suit our needs! You must remember that when Cinderella found her prince the shoe was a perfect fit. There is a perfect fit for everyone out there so you don't have to push your foot into ill fitting slipper!
Tuesday 26 May 2015
Intuition
Do you listen to your inner guidance ?
There are many terms for this, gut instinct, intuition. I even like to call it our own internal sat nav, because it does just that, guides us, leads us in the right direction. Now, I am sure many of you would have been happily on your way along the high street heading to where you need to go, but then all of a sudden without thinking ,kind of like being on auto pilot you find yourself in a store,any store, may even be a charity shop, but you would be drawn to it,feeling in a way pulled? And in the store you would then be drawn to the exact item you are needing at the right time you are needing it, perhaps you have put your hands on the perfect book to continue on your development path,or this can even relate to that chance meeting with the right someone to help and guide you. I find this a wonderful experience and it's always fun to see what it is spirit want you to receive at that time.
This can also relate not just enjoying a stroll down your local high street but even suddenly doing a drop in at a friends or relatives house, again at random, and they may have been thinking of you or just needing a friendly supportive ear if their going through a difficult time.
What I have also experienced is how this inner pull,inner guidance can also lead and take you to power places, perhaps you have been drained,working hard, needing a quite rest for yourself and are drawn to locations to recharge and open your energy, even nature woodlands, you may when able, feel like a trip to the woods, to the seaside, again it would be for a very valid reason.
To be by the sea or taking a wood land walk does exactly the same thing,heals, rests and clears our energy it can bring clarity to your mind so you can hear yourself , your own thoughts,so I find it is always important to hear and listen to your feelings and more importantly,act upon them.
So, whether it is on a practical level and your guidance has lead you to the perfect store or even browsing online it will lead you to what you are needing at that time, the perfect book or tool to carry you further on your path, or that out of the blue thought to visit a power spot will all be hugely beneficial to you and your well being.
Enjoy where your inner guidance takes you, and see what surprises are in store for you :)
Carolyn Cox.
There are many terms for this, gut instinct, intuition. I even like to call it our own internal sat nav, because it does just that, guides us, leads us in the right direction. Now, I am sure many of you would have been happily on your way along the high street heading to where you need to go, but then all of a sudden without thinking ,kind of like being on auto pilot you find yourself in a store,any store, may even be a charity shop, but you would be drawn to it,feeling in a way pulled? And in the store you would then be drawn to the exact item you are needing at the right time you are needing it, perhaps you have put your hands on the perfect book to continue on your development path,or this can even relate to that chance meeting with the right someone to help and guide you. I find this a wonderful experience and it's always fun to see what it is spirit want you to receive at that time.
This can also relate not just enjoying a stroll down your local high street but even suddenly doing a drop in at a friends or relatives house, again at random, and they may have been thinking of you or just needing a friendly supportive ear if their going through a difficult time.
What I have also experienced is how this inner pull,inner guidance can also lead and take you to power places, perhaps you have been drained,working hard, needing a quite rest for yourself and are drawn to locations to recharge and open your energy, even nature woodlands, you may when able, feel like a trip to the woods, to the seaside, again it would be for a very valid reason.
To be by the sea or taking a wood land walk does exactly the same thing,heals, rests and clears our energy it can bring clarity to your mind so you can hear yourself , your own thoughts,so I find it is always important to hear and listen to your feelings and more importantly,act upon them.
So, whether it is on a practical level and your guidance has lead you to the perfect store or even browsing online it will lead you to what you are needing at that time, the perfect book or tool to carry you further on your path, or that out of the blue thought to visit a power spot will all be hugely beneficial to you and your well being.
Enjoy where your inner guidance takes you, and see what surprises are in store for you :)
Carolyn Cox.
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