FED UP – FIX IT
Don’t let these common myths
block your path to
happiness!
1. I’ll be Happier Tomorrow
It’s easy to fall
into the trap of thinking happiness will happen once you have achieved all your
goals, but if you do that you will end up concentrating so hard on how much
better life could be that it will stop you appreciating what you have already
got.
How to fix this
blockage:
Postponing happiness
to a future date means you will never enjoy it.
By all means aspire to greater things, but enjoy every minute along the
way. Enjoy your food, smell the roses,
pat a cat, dog or whatever it takes for you to enjoy the day.
2.
It Won’t Last
Are you too afraid to
let yourself be happy because you think life will bring you crashing back
down? You need to realize that if you
don’t take a risk, you will end up missing out.
Life is a gamble and you need to be bold and go for what you want. Just because you were hurt in a previous
relationship or let down in another way, doesn’t mean the same thing will
surely happen again.
How to fix this
blockage:
Stop expecting the
worst, and think positively. If you
expect the worst, it tends to happen.
This is often comes as self-sabotage in relationships or perhaps at a
job interview and the interviewer picks up your negativity. Remember that it is better to have been happy
for a short while than stuck in a familiar, but depressing, situation. You might as well enjoy the good times you
already have.
3.
He has to Change
Example: Sue a young
mother of two, had convinced herself that if her husband, Steve, was just a bit
more ambitious, worked harder and secured a promotion, she would have
everything. However, if, like Simon,
your partner is perfectly content with his life and job the way they are,
spending your life waiting for him to change is setting yourself up to feel let
down when he doesn’t alter his life.
3a. They have Got to Change
How to fix this
blockage:
Making your happiness
conditional on someone else means you are avoiding taking responsibility for
your own feelings and ambitions. Of
course it is only fair to expect your partner to do their fair share of the
housework or to be affectionate towards you, but you have to decide whether
this is an important change that could make your relationship better. Perhaps you are just using it as an
excuse. If a partner or friend does not
make you happy, either learn to live with that person or decide if you want him
or her in your life at all.
4.
I Don’t Like Myself
When you are unhappy,
it is easy to think everything in your life is wrong. The only solution seems to be a big change –
give up your job, relationship, move house – to make a fresh start. Perhaps if you were not bothered that you
have put on weight, you wouldn’t row with your partner because nothing fits
anymore.
How to fix this
blockage:
Try and
work out the real reason you are feeling down.
Next learn to like, respect and value yourself as you presently are –
faults and all. For example, if you are
truly unhappy about your current job, stand in front of a mirror each morning,
smile and confidently say, 10 times, “I am good at what I do.” If you have tried everything in that
department and still feel stuck in a miserable job – start looking or training
for another job whilst you have current employment. If it is your relationship that is the
current problem a suggested book that may assist is “Really Relating - by David
Jansen & Margaret Newman, available from Dymocks Bookshops, Angus and
Robertson and some libraries. If that
fails, reassess your relationship, perhaps it is truly time to move on.
5.
They Owe Me
Having a chip on your
shoulder about how much praise you deserve from others can have a negative
effect – if those expectations are not fulfilled, you will be
disappointed. If you become too obsessed
with getting what you think you deserve out of life, you can also lose sight of
how much you already been given.
Example: Janice 30, was convinced
her life had been difficult and, because of that, felt she deserved more
success at work. Although she had a
high-powered job, she still expected constant praise and got depressed if she
did not get it.
How to fix this
blockage:
Be your own best
critic. You know when you have done
something well, so give yourself credit for it rather that searching for
appreciation from other people. There is
nothing wrong with having pride of a job well done. Modesty has it place in this world, but do
not go overboard on it.
6.
I Don’t Deserve It
One of the most
common beliefs is that happiness is something you have to work hard for and
earn – and many people feel they don’t deserve to be happy. Being depressed all the time is not going to
help. Think it much easier it is to cheer
up a friend who is going through a down period if you yourself are feeling
good.
How to fix this
blockage:
Do not feel guilty
about being happy. Remember that a good
mood can actually be infectious and the better you feel, the easier it is to
spread some of that job around to your friends and family. It also works the other work – sadness and
depression is also infectious. Please
don not spread that one around – there is already enough of that in this world.
7.
I Wish I Looked Different
There is probably
something about your appearance that you really don not like. Whether you think your nose is too big and
plastic surgery is the answer, or you are desperate to be two sizes slimmer or
bigger. It is easy to fall into the trap
of thinking that by changing the way you look you will automatically make
yourself happier. Unless you are
seriously deformed or disfigured by an accident – plastic surgery is not the
answer.
How to fix this
blockage:
It is important to keep these ideas in
proportion and stop giving yourself a hard time about the way you look. Remember that when it comes to looks and
personality, nobody is perfect, so stop trying to be. Acceptance of yourself – of your looks and
your situation – is a huge part of being happy
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